We need a little Christmas

right this very minute.
*I’m feeling rather Bah Humbug about the whole thing this year, which is nothing new, but this year seems especially fierce.

Candles in the window,
*umm, actually, that is a little too Amityville horror for me.

Carols at the spinet.
*Sure, let me get right on that. Just need to find one, and then learn how to play it, and then we can go right on ahead with this.

Yes, we need a little Christmas
*exactly

Right this very minute.
*well, ok. Anytime before December 25th would be awesome!

It hasn’t snowed a single flurry,
*wait until tomorrow. 6-8 inches predicted overnight

But Santa, dear, we’re in a hurry;
*who isn’t?

So climb down the chimney;
* or, you know, come through the front door?

Put up the brightest string of lights I’ve ever seen.
*check

Slice up the fruitcake;
*nah. I much prefer my fruit without preservatives and shrink wrap

It’s time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough.
* I have a dog, who eats things. I don’t want tinsel poop. We’re gonna skip this one

For we need a little music,
*got it. Some Trans Siberian Orchestra?

Need a little laughter,
* More laughter and less stress would be awesome, ok? Thanks

Need a little singing,
*as long as it’s not me you are counting on for the singing

Ringing through the rafter,
*that loud? Sure, if I’m loud, no one will care if I’m in tune, right?

And we need a little snappy
“Happy ever after,”
*yes, please

Need a little Christmas now.
*yeah, come on and get over with?

Need a little Christmas now.
*right now!

~ by xombie on December 16, 2007.