storm

storm, originally uploaded by Miss Xombie.

A storm rolled past us tonight. All we got was a 5 min light shower and 20 degree reduction in temps.

Proof of life

One of my quirks, something that I have felt compelled to do, is photograph my life. I don’t have a ton of photos from my childhood, aside from special occasion or holiday photos.

I don’t want that to be the case for my kids. So I photograph them. All the time. It’s what I do. I’m behind the lens, documenting life, recording the minutaie of the day. The trips to the zoo, the cuts and scrapes. The sandboxes and gardens and the daily grind.

I record the people and animals that come into out lives and touch it. Even if they don’t stay. From the robin that nests in the car port every single freaking year, to Molly, our loving companion of 5 years now.

It all gets documented. And usually uploaded. Either to flickr or facebook, sometimes just sent through email, often times printed out, but always enjoyed. I spend some time every month or so, wandering back through my archives, here, there and everywhere, reliving the moments that have made my life.

My mother in law was talking to me recently about  her lack of photos with the other grandkids. To put it in her words, “Roseann is the one that takes the photos, so the photos usually feature her kids.” Which is true. I’m obviously not there for her interactions with the other grandkids, most of the time.

When I am, though, I make it my mission to record it. To document it. To make it known that on this day, whichever day it was, this happened. We were happy. We laughed. Made memories. Even if it’s just sitting around talking, or playing cards, it happened.

See?

Look at this photograph.

Proof positive of a life well lived.

Of life loved and appreciated.

Of life.

Grace in Small Things, part 3

1. Matthew is feeling completely better.

2. It’s Saturday. Not that we’ve done anything extraordinary,  but, still. Saturday.

3. Going out with Steve tomorrow. We really need to spend some time together.

4. Angels and Demons tomorrow.

5. Salmon for dinner tonight. It was lovely.

Grace in Small Things, day 2

1. Matthew is definitely better. Completely better. Annoyingly better.

2. I got the hook out of my toe, that I stepped on, while putting fishing poles away while barefoot.

3. I feel like I’m still getting sick, but I also think I might be over it (mostly).Time will tell.

4. The storm last night has done wonders for the garden.

5. The smell of bread in the bread machine is awesome.

I have a couple of drafts rattling around. I will attempt to get them up in the next few days.

Grace in Small Things day 1

Jenn told me to blog. So, I’m blogging.

I’d figure I’d get back into the swing of things by doing a daily Grace in Small Things, post.

So. 5 graces for today.

1. Matthew seems to be better

2. Laundry is (mostly) caught up.

3. Warm spring rain

4. I’m done with school for the summer.

5. I’m happy. Really. Truly Happy.

So, yeah, that last one isn’t really a small thing. But it’s my reality and dammit, I’m claiming it.

Memories

I realized this week that I have come to rely on what I’ve written here to chronicle my life and the people in it. It happened because Steve asked me what we had done for his birthday, and I could not remember. Not even an inkling.  Turns out the reason I couldn’t remember is that it was Thanksgiving and we were with his family for the day.

Looking back, I realize it’s been 2 months since I updated. I recently redid my PC and as such, lost all my passwords and cookies. And I could not remember the password for MX. Luckily, I archived my password email, and was able to restore access, but not after having tried every single combination I could think of, and trying to push a reset through my server and then logging into my server to try and see if I could do it on that end.  A quick perusal through my email and BAM, logged in.

I’ve been busy, with school and life and such. Steve is switching out jobs a little, and as such our household schedule has changed a little, but it’s for the better and I’m excited.

So, tell me, how are you?

I’ve also completely stopped with the YIP thing. It just didn’t work. I was spending more of my day wondering about what I was going to shoot, instead of actually living it. I want 2009 to be as stress free as possible, and stressing about photography was kind of stupid. I’m still using my camera, but when you’re locked into the dead of winter, in Ohio, there’s not a whole lot of inspiration rolling around, ya know.

Mirrors

I have a thing about mirrors. I have for as long as I can remember.

I’m terrified that the world looking back out from the mirror is not the same one looking in. That I will walk by and glance in and see something that’s not on this side of reality. That while I’m brushing my teeth and I casually glance into the mirror, it won’t be me looking back.

I think I can trace the very start of this paranoia back to my mom telling me a story. My parents were just shy of being hippies. A little bit too old for the movement, but still new agey enough to take classes and lessons about how to better tap into their true being.

She told me, when I was very young, about a time when she was just married to my father. Before they had had any kids, and they had each taken a workshop, something along the lines of “reveal your inner self”, and she had a very disturbing experience. The lesson said that if you stare into a mirror, in a dimly lit room, long enough, you will see your true self staring back at you.

A little like the mirror in The Neverending Story, I suppose.

She related to me about how one evening, she was home by herself, and she took that time to set up the bathroom with a couple of candles, and she just stared.

She stared and stared and when nothing happened, she got discouraged.

Looking away to check a candle, she glanced back into the mirror and that is when she saw it. Or her, I guess.

An old woman. A very aged, craggy, hostile old woman.

It terrified my mom. She had only been married to my dad for a short time, and they had just started their lives together, and she wasn’t sure what to think of it.

After a short time, she got over it, a little, never really spending much time in the mirror for any length of time.

Eventually, she had us kids, and life moved on and eventually she and my dad divorced and she went back to living life on her terms.

She still remembered that old woman though.

This is part of what started my ambivalence towards reflections. Not just mirrors, but reflective surfaces in general.

Being sensitive to things, and having an entire childhood full of sounds and experiences no one could quite explain, didn’t help either.

Steve and I watched Mirrors this weekend. I was very unsure if I wanted to, but I knew it would help me realize maybe my fear and apprehension was unfounded.

The movie wasn’t bad. It wasn’t the best movie in the world, and if you’re planning on watching it, skip the unrated version, it only makes the movie make less sense. The movie itself reads like 3 separate stories slapped together, which I guess maybe it is. I read that the original didn’t have a lot of the explanations the released version did, and you can kind of tell that they just slapped some of it together and hoped for the best.

I was hoping for a psychological thriller, and I got a mix. It started out very gory and unexpected, and then became a little mysterious, with enough gore thrown in to confuse people. It then became a bit of a mystery, and *surprise* more gore at an uncalled for junction in the movie.

Steve said he hated the movie. But he’s a rom/com kind of guy. That new movie coming out, he’s just not that into you? Total Steve flick.

I didn’t hate the movie, but I had such higher expectations of it. I had hoped that because Keifer Sutherland is such a household name now, that he wouldn’t be a part of such an underwhelming movie, but I was wrong.

I spend far too much of my life playing with sticks and string

I spend far too much of my life playing with sticks and string, originally uploaded by Miss Xombie.

Sticks and String.
One of the few things that relax and put me back to center.

Would you watch my ring for me?

18 years ago, that is how Steve asked me if I would go out with him. He asked me to take care of his class ring for him. We’d known each other for about a year, but ran on opposite sides of the same social circles.

We’d been out a time or two, but spent most of our time together at school, or at my house. We wrote letters and notes to each other, every day. This, from a guy that hated writing anything, and despised anything mushy.

He asked me one afternoon if I’d look after his ring for him. Back then, that is what couples did, in High School, they exchanged class rings. Except I didn’t have a class ring, yet.

So I took his ring, and I lovingly wrapped it in royal blue embroidery floss and then nail polished over it, that way it would fit on my hand. This routine I did for 3 years. Wrapping and polishing, and then wearing it until the polish cracked, or I got bored. I eventually found a blue polish the exact color of the stone, and no longer did I have to buy so much blue floss, instead I could just use whatever yarn or thread I had, and use the blue polish to make it work.

I wore that ring every single day until our anniversary rolled around in 1994, and he took me to the mall and we picked out the ring I would wear for the rest of my life. The one sitting on my left hand right now, accompanied by our 10 year anniversary ring, that matches my wedding band.

Flirting with Steve was the best thing I ever did. The smartest thing, to wrap my life around this shining star and promise to be there with him until the end of eternity. For infinity.

candles

Just a pretty little picture of some candles on the bar. Loved the reflection on the steel.
I bought these candles on clearance at the store, and they’re sugar cookie scented. Problem is that after they burned for a little while, they smelled, well, burnt, so I had to blow them out. I will relight in the morning and see if the original scent returns.
But, hey, they were $1.34, so no huge loss if they are burnt smelling.